Ok, so now that everything has exploded in my face, I am managing it and wondering again why on earth am I feeling so alone. I get it that you can't always be there for me, but try never. When I am in extremis, you are never with me. I am always alone. I face all of it alone. I don't even get a single call, or text, or anything. Maybe you're too busy. No one is ever that busy. I know you're staying away because you want to avoid trouble. Not trouble for me. Trouble for yourself. For your career, for everything that you have and hold. Never mind about me.

Why don't you just admit to yourself that I really don't mean that much to you. Then after you admit it to yourself, you can tell me about it. There's no way you can love 2 people equally. There's always someone who falls behind. That person is, has always been, me. Don't call me and say that you care, and then hang up and carry on like I don't exist. Just tell me you don't care, and then set me free.