With a Pill I thee Forget

If there was such a solution, I'd buy it. No price too high. Take the pill whilst I'm still standing at the pharmacy. Swallow it dry if I have to. Nothing could be as bitter as this.

I have enough in my life to make me happy. Yet my thoughts and emotions drift right back to you when they have half a chance.

I sent you a song, just one. After mulling it over for about 3 weeks, I just sent you a casual email and attached the song. You couldn't know how difficult it was, wondering if you'd listen to it and laugh, or think I was insane, or if you'd actually understand something of what I was feeling.

A couple of days later, I asked if you had gotten my email. You hadn't. Probably weeded out by your anti-spam programme. What did I send? A song. From Your Collection. Oh.

I guess you still haven't gotten the email. If you ask your computer guys about it, they'll probably send it to you. But you have to ask.

If you think it's worthwhile. Anyway, it's just music.

To anyone else, it's just music. To me, it's a message straight to you. If that's not important then it just isn't. It personifies our relationship. Some things are just not important.

I told you today that I still think of you all the time, and that it's driving me insane.

I have no response to that.

Well, just tell me that you don't then. Let me know that I'm in this insanity all by myself, and it's time for me to get myself together and move on. I can take that. I'm old enough to take that. You just have to tell me.

Instead, I live this painful half-life where my heart is in self-denial. Yes, he does care about you. Look at what he did the other day. Remember what he said the last time. No, if he cared, why is he so careless with his words? Why does he mix you up with other women? Is he seeing other women? You don't know. So what if he is? You don't have a right to call him yours.

Grow up. Is it all that I need to do?