You think we will ever say the 3 little words to each other, "let's go home"?

Will my home ever be your home too?

Thinking about it drives me to distraction. Earlier this evening, the part of me that is delusional went home with you, we had dinner at home together and spent the evening watching Deal or No Deal on TV. Then went for a short walk on the beach.

The part of me that is not delusional tried very hard to focus on having dinner with the family, chatting and responding like everything was great and normal and I was not miles away.

Today was good though. It was great.

Here again. It's like walking into a secret room and closing the door behind me and I'm finally finally alone to think what I want to think and say what I need to say that I can't say to anyone.

I miss you.

I would love to see you.

In this place I am neither funny nor interesting. I just come here when I'm sad, and I can have all the company I want but there's only one person I'd really like to see but I can't and I can't even text you for reasons you are well aware of.