That look.

I love seeing my face in the mirror just before I meet you. Or when I'm anticipating the very real possibility of meeting you anytime in the near future. It glows from within - it radiates happiness. I see myself as someone beautiful and loved. And for those few seconds, I love being me and I live completely in the present. Everything I see is tinged with an aura of barely repressed excitement and joy. To illustrate what you bring out in me, the last time I felt this same happiness, someone asked me if I'd like to try out for the Ms Singapore contest.

It's been a while but I still remember. I wonder when I'll next have those feelings again. It's a blessed gift. I didn't cherish it.

I'm sure my face now looks like the light has gone out of it. I feel like I'm surviving, but not living. I'm breathing, eating, sleeping, working. But my soul has fled to somewhere I can't reach.